Are you Kidding me?
by RubyTuesday7
Summary: Andrea has something important to ask Miranda, but gets beat to the punch. Mirandy.Started out as one-shot but has developed into several chapters
1. Chapter 1

A Mirandy One shot that takes place some time after Paris with an established relationship between them.

Andy had never been more nervous in her life. Not when she stood up to Miranda during her interview for RUNWAY, not when she had left Miranda in Paris, not even when they met again, more than six months later, at a function that Andy had to cover for the newspaper.

Sighing, Andy placed a mug of hot chocolate in front of Cassidy and a cup of tea for Caroline. Having dated Miranda for more than a year, the pair had been living together in Miranda's townhouse for nearly ten months, during which time Andy had learned many of the Twins preferences and habits. Shockingly, neither of them had seemed at all fazed when Miranda and Andy had come out of the closet to them, their only comment "She can't be worse than Stephan."

Relying on this, Andy took a deep breath and settled on straight-forward honesty. "Girls, you know Miranda and I have been dating for some time now. I want... I want to take things to the next level with her." Both of the teenagers froze and fixed her with twin glares that must have been inherited from their mother. "What **exactly **do you mean?" Cassidy prodded.

Andy pulled a small, red-velvet covered box out of her pocket. "I want to ask Miranda to marry me. I love her, very much, and I want to have her by my side, forever. We have reservations for dinner tomorrow night, I was going to propose then." Tensing, Andy got to the part that was worrying her. "I won't propose, though, unless its ok with the two of you. I know your mother has married some arseholes in the past, and I want you guys to be comfortable with this. I can wait as long as you need."

Both twins were shocked by the sincerity in her voice, and for a few seconds, neither could move. Then Caroline, closely followed by Cassidy, flew at the young reporter, throwing their arms around Andrea and hugging her tightly. "Of course you-" Cassidy started. "-propose." Caroline finished, as was their habit, "Can we see the ring?" Caroline begged. Andy laughed, "Of course." and carefully opened the box. Encased inside was a simple silver engagement ring. A simple band of silver that split into two thinner bands halfway around, and held between the two smaller bands, was a beautiful deep purple/blue stone. Cassidy look at the stone curiously. "What is it?" Andrea had to smile, for it was an unusual stone to find in a engagement ring in New York. "Tanzanite," she told the two twins, "I saw it in a little boutique store and thought it was beautiful, plus it will go nicely with your mother's stunning eyes."

Andrea's smile then faded slightly and she bit her lip. "Do you guys think Miranda will say yes?" she asked, voicing her insecurities. Andy wasn't quite sure, but she thought she saw the twins smirk at each other, though it only lasted a split second. "Of course she will," Caroline reassured her. "She loves you," Cassidy continued, "and you love her. I cant wait until the wedding." Now Andy laughed, all her fears momentarily gone. "You guys are getting a little bit ahead of yourselves." The girls both laughed and then, with eerie synchronization, sobered. "Do we have to go to dads tomorrow?" Caroline whined.

Andy sighed once more, ready to compromise, when all three of them heard the front door open and shut, signally Miranda's arrival. Andy lowered her voice and whispered quickly "yes, but I promise to call you as soon as we get home, ok?" Both girls were nodding as Andy tucked the box back in her pocket, concealing it as Miranda walked in.

The next night came rather quickly and, despite her nerves, Andy found herself enjoying a pleasant romantic dinner with the love of her life. Both Miranda and Andrea fell silent as their now-empty dessert plates were cleared away from the table, leaving them with two wine glasses ¾ empty bottle of delicious Italian wine. Andrea took a fortifying sip, fingering the small, red box held concealed in her hand under the table, and decided to take the plunge.

"Miranda." "Andrea." Both women had spoken in unison, so Andrea dipped her head, allowing Miranda to go first and biding her time. "Andrea," Miranda started again. "I love you very much. The past 14 months have changed my life, and I cant imagine being without you." Miranda held out a small, blue ring box towards Andrea and opened it quietly. "Marry me?" she asked, her nervousness and love marring together in her words. Andy mouth fell open at the sight of the elegantly red diamond set on a simple silver band.

Once over the initial shock, Andy started laughing. "Andrea?" Miranda asked, worried by her young partners reaction. "You have got to be kidding me," Andrea mumbled quietly, still laughing. "Is that a no?" Miranda worried, her tone tight as she drew into her shell slightly. Andy, seeing this, grabbed her hand and composed herself. "I would love to marry you, Miranda, yes, of course yes, but I cant help to wish you had asked five minutes later." The silver haired fashion queen quirked one eyebrow, puzzled, so Andy withdrew her other hand from under the table cloth, flicking open the red-velvet box. "I was just about to ask you the same thing."

At this, Miranda also started laughing, quietly but sincerely. Andy pulled the Tanzanite ring out of its box and slid it onto Miranda's fourth finger, and once Miranda got a hold of herself, she mirrored the action before kissing her fiancée. Once they separated, both women took a deep sip of wine, and Andrea's brow furrowed, puzzled, as a thought struck her. "Did you tell the girls that you were going to propose?" she asked. Miranda nodded, "Of course, I couldn't put them through another marriage without preparing them for it first. Are you ok that I told them?" Miranda inquired, trying to work out where Andy's mind was.

Andy ignored the last question and posed another one for Miranda. "When did you tell them?" Miranda shrugged, still not understanding. "About a week ago. Why, what are you thinking?" This time Andy answered her. "Well, I asked them yesterday if they were ok with me proposing, and I asked them if they thought you would say yes. They had a strange look, I understand now though. I wonder why they didn't say anything."

Miranda laughed, understanding how her girls worked. "They are probably placing bets on who would ask first." Andy had to laugh too, for this was a likely option. Finishing the wine and paying the bill, both women stood to leave. Linking arms, they walked down the street arm in arm, for the restaurant was close to the town house, and the car was not necessary. Breaking the comfortable silence, Miranda asked her love "What kind of wedding do you want?". Andrea bit her lip, considering. "Personally, I would rather just go down to the marriage license bureau, but I understand that your job requires you to have a big wedding."

Miranda snorted, looking deeply at Andy. "I would love to skip the who chaos of a wedding and just be bonded to you forever. When is good with you?" Andrea was shocked by her agreement, but answered all the same. "Soon. Would next weekend be too soon? I wish we could go now." Miranda was silent for a moment, then grabbed Andrea's had and hailed a cab. "Lets do it then. Lets get married tonight." Andy stumbled into the cab behind her, but had to ask "What about the girls?" This gave Miranda temporary pause and, after telling the cab driver where they wanted to go, she drew out her cell phone and speed dialed Cassidy.

"Hey Bobbsey's... Yes, I asked her...of course she did...I just wanted to let you girls know that Andrea and I are going to go get married now... yes now as in right now, what else?... you're sure yo don't mind... thank you, my babies, we will see you tomorrow afternoon.. we love you." Miranda turned back to Andrea, who had managed to follow most of the conversation. "They're ok with us doing it now?" Miranda nodded jovially and was caught in a tight embrace by a very excited Andy.

"Oh" the younger woman sighed. "Who's going to witness it then?" Miranda pursed her lips contemplatively, then drew out her phone and hit a different speed dial number. "Hello, Nigel... no, no nothings wrong... no, I don't need you in the office, but I do need you. Andrea and I are getting married... well, now, if you'll witness it.. you will? Thank you Nigel... in the courthouse in, say, 15 minutes... see you then."

"Any other problems?" Miranda asked Andrea in a light tone to let her know she was teasing. The younger woman just shook her head, amazed by Miranda's efficiency, before capturing her love's lips in a strong embrace. "I love you Mira" she murmured when they separated to breathe. Miranda gazed at her with dark, passionate eyes."I love you too, my darling.

_Comments? Should I make another chapter with the actual wedding in it, or is this ok as a one shot?_


	2. Chapter 2

Nigel, of course, was perfectly on time. Having worked for Miranda for decades and being her friend for almost the same amount of time, he was sure that there was nothing left that could shock him. Even knowing that Miranda had been intending to propose, as he had been there when she chose Andrea's ring, Nigel had never thought that Miranda would do something so impulsive as marry the girl that night.

However, seeing the only two women he loved stumble out of a taxi, giggling uncharacteristically, and linked hand-in-hand, the fashion assistant had to smile. It was the best decision either of them had ever made; Miranda and Andrea were like fire and ice – opposites that went so well together.

For the first time in years, Miranda embraced her friend in a hug, a real hug, while not letting go of Andrea's hand. The younger woman then repeated the gesture, before they both pulled back and grinned, really grinned, at him. "Miranda, I have never seen you look so happy. Nor you, Six. I am glad for you both." he told them both, the shock of the situation removing the filter from his brain. "Thank you my friend," Miranda replied, "while nothing could separate us, it is nice to know we have your support." Sobering slightly, Andrea voiced what they had all been thinking.

"Mira, the press is going to have a field day with this. Are you sure you want to do this, to be accused of rebounding off Stephan, to hear the rumours about 'The Dragon' again? Are you sure that-" Miranda cut through her rambling, ignoring Nigel and the few other people still gathered outside the courthouse, and placing a hand on each of Andrea's cheeks to force her fiancée to look at her. "Andrea, I love you, you love me. The girls are ok with this; they love you too. The media can go to hell, for all I care. Of course, if you would rather wait and do this properly, I wont resent your decision."

Despite her assurances, Miranda looked so downtrodden at the thought that Andrea had to kiss her, right there in the middle of the street, their lips meshed together until Nigel cleared his throat. "So, are you going to get married or not?" Andrea pulled away from Miranda and turned to him, laughing. "Lets go get hitched!" Miranda laughed too, shocking Nigel into laughter, so the clerk in the courthouse looked at them as if they were insane, until she recognised Miranda and schooled her expression.

"Good evening." Miranda stated warmly "We would like to get married tonight." The young womans mouth fell open, until Andrea giggled lightly, once again so excited she couldn't take anything seriously. Remembering her job, the woman gathered some forms. "We have an opening in fifteen minutes. Fill out these forms in the waiting room over there, and then you can get started. These are for the bride and groom-" handing a form to Miranda and Nigel respectively, "- and this is for the witness." she explained, handing the final form to Andrea, who laughed and switched forms with Nigel. "You trying to steal my fiancée, Nigel? Poor Doug will be heartbroken" the young brunette joked, causing the clerk to blush when she realized her mistake. "I am so sorry," she apologised furiously "I shouldn't of jumped to conclusions."

Normally Miranda would have been livid but, as usual, Andrea's presence calmed her temper, so she replied with only "No harm done"; it was an honest mistake on the young woman's part, as Miranda and Andrea had more or less stayed out of the media's spotlight. The trio made their was to the lounges, surveying the forms. They were simple enough; Full Name, Address, Current Marriage Status, Place and Date of birth, Parents Names and Intended Name after Marriage. Here Andrea paused, turning to Miranda.

"Andrea Priestly?" Miranda smiled, then pursed her lips contemplatively. "How about Andrea Sachs-Priestly and Miranda Priestly-Sachs?" Miranda proposed. Andrea's eyes widened at the sound of Miranda's name joined with hers. "You would change your name for me?" she whispered shocked, "You didn't for any of your husbands." Miranda smirked at the thought before smiling properly. "True, but I love you much more than I loved either of them. Besides, you and I are forever."

Andrea smiled too, her chocolate eyes full of love. "Andrea Sachs-Priestly it is them." Nigel had been studiously ignoring their conversation, but smiled at the pairs decision. Quickly completing the rest of their forms, the trio returned to the clerk, who was still slightly red with embarrassment. "Ok, these forms look good. Take them with you up to courtroom 4, there is a minister waiting for you there. And... um... congratulations."

Miranda nodded and Andrea murmured "thanks" before they took off to find courtroom 4. The engaged couple were walking hand-in-hand, chatting to Nigel, when a familiar voice caught them. "Andrea?" The trio turned, coming face-to-face with a short, balding man whom Andy had no desire to meet. As the Gossip writer for the New York Mirror, where Andrea had worked before going freelance, it was his job to write about any upcoming drama's, and Andy vaguely remembered someone telling her that he would troll around the courtrooms looking for gossip. Andy nodded in greeting, not quite remembering the man's name.

Stepping closer, the unknown man came closer to Andrea, her fiancée and her friend, his rat-like eyes glinting at the sight of New Yorks 'Ice Queen' clasping the young journalists arm.

"So, Andy, what are you doing here?" Miranda felt Andrea tense at the question and based on her intimate relation with her, understood what was worrying Andrea; how much should they tell someone who definitely couldn't be trusted? At present only the twins, Nigel and Doug, and Miranda first ex-husband knew about their relationship, but if they were getting married, there was no reason to keep a secrete. Miranda's eyes caught Andrea's, conveying her plan. When the younger woman nodded lightly, Miranda replied to the unnamed man's question. "Andrea and I are getting married." The man's face abruptly became a snarling mixture of surprise and fury, instantly heightening Miranda's protectiveness. "You're a dyke?" he hissed rudely.

Before she could act in any way, Nigel noticed Miranda's icy, livid expression and snagged her free arm, dragging both the women away from the insulting little man. "What the hell was that, Six? How screwed are we?" Normally Andy would have smiled at the way he included himself in Her and Miranda;s problem automatically, but was currently deep in thought. "His name is Mark something... Mark Rapha. He works in the gossip column of the Mirror. From the minute I walked in the door, he was convinced that I wanted to date him and was just in denial. You can be sure, by tomorrow the whole of New York will know about us, Mira."

Studying her lover, Andrea waited until Miranda's expression went from hot and furious to cold and calculating. "So, how should we destroy him?" the powerful editor asked maliciously. Andrea only shrugged, knowing that Miranda was more than capable of squashing the insignificant man, and tugged out her phone. While Andy was sure that their relationship would come out sooner or later, she had a plan that would delay the announcement just long enough for her to break the news to her parents. Dialing a familiar number, Andy blocked out Nigel and Miranda's plotting, barely even noticing that they had resumed there path towards courtroom 4.

"Hey Greg, its Andy Sachs, I hope I'm not interrupting your evening. _Not at all, how are you?_I an well, and yourself _I am well, thanks. _Good, good _So, you ready for your old job back, Ms. Hot-shot-freelancer? _Actually, I was hoping you could do me a favor _Anything, Andy, you know that. What is it?_ Well, before the end of tomorrow, Mark Rapha is going to go to you with a story Don't_ tell me he's making up gossip about you? _Not exactly. The thing is, he saw me tonight on my way to courtroom 4 with my fiancée. _Your engaged? Congratulations Andy. Who the lucky man, or woman? _Here's the thing. Its Miranda Priestly. _WHAT? _I love Miranda and we are getting married, but I need you to keep the story out of the papers, just for a day or two, so I can tell my parents and we can get ready for our outing. _… Sure, Andy, if that's what you need, I will do my best to help. I can give you three days, is that enough time? _Plenty. Thank-you Greg, I owe you. _Not at all, Andy, I hope she makes you happy. _Thanks Greg, we will have to get together soon. _Definitely. Bye Mrs. Priestly. _Bye Greg.

With that, Andy hung up, finally returning to her surroundings and the fact that they were outside of the right courtroom, and that both her companions were staring at her; Miranda with lust, Nigel with surprised respect. "What?" Andy asked, laughing slightly. Nigel shook his head, speechless at the amount of respect 'Six' had commanded, and Miranda seemed to snap out of her heated gaze. "Nothing" the silver-haired editor mumbled. "Lets go get married."

With that, Miranda clutched Andy's hand and tugged her into the courtroom, towards their future together.

_I am so sorry that this took so long for me to write. Since I had only planned it to be a one-shot, I really had no idea where I was going when I started this chapter, so I wrote a few different story lines and picked my favorite. The next part I have already planned, so it should be up before Saturday. Reviews would be nice, but no pressure :D_


	3. Chapter 3

_WARNING! When it says M, that means M!_

The ceremony passed in a blur. Vows were exchange, promises of love and adoration that had Nigel tearing up, then a sweet yet passionate kiss. After a round of celebratory drinks, the newlyweds split with Nigel, stumbling off hand-in-hand and laughing joyously. Reaching their empty townhouse, Andy and Miranda flew indoors, out of the publics eye, before Andy took Miranda's Burberry coat and hung it up, with hers, in the closet. Spinning around, Andy found Miranda much closer than she had expected, their noses almost touching. Captured by the seductive look in the wife's eyes, Andy froze instantly as Miranda murmured "So, Mrs Sachs-Priestly, we have the entire house to ourselves. Whatever will we do?" Andy smiled at Miranda's teasing tone and lent in so her lips were millimeters away from her wife's, close enough to feel the radiating heat. "I'm sure we will think of something."

When Miranda closed the distance between them, the sizzling tension that was always present between the lovers grew into a all-consuming passion that, no matter how many times they kissed, neither woman could get used to. Moaning as their tongues connected, Andy wrapped her arms around Miranda's waist and squeezed her slightly. She then ran her hands down, over Miranda's glorious buttocks, massaging the glorious handfuls.

Lifting her wife with a surprising amount of ease, Andrea moaned into Miranda's mouth, as Miranda's toned legs wrapped around Andrea's waist, her butt still cradled in Andrea's hands. Sliding out of her 4 inch Jimmy Choo's, Andrea broke her lip-to-lip contact with Miranda in order to mount the stairs. After making a small sound of displeasure at the lack of contact, Miranda fully adapted to the situation, moving her lips to Andrea's throat.

After kissing the skin there, Miranda let her tongue touch, ever so lightly, against Andrea's skin. Having just reached the third step of the flight, Andrea hissed in shock and pleasure, stumbling back down a step. Enjoying this new found power, Miranda explored it fully, alternating between long, smooth licks, sharp nips and peppered kisses. Upon their arrival on the second floor, Miranda sucked long and hard at her wife's neck, feeling the racing pulse through her lips. Andrea's gasp turned quickly into a moan, closing her eyes and tipping her head back. Unable to even contemplate climbing the second flight of stairs to their bedroom, Andrea decide that the wide couch of the sitting room would have to suffice.

Moving across the room, Andrea slid her hands out from under Miranda's buttocks. Pausing for a moment to enjoy the view, Andrea drunk in the sight of the worlds most influential fashion editor with her clothes rumbled up around her waist, her perfect silver hair mussed, skin flushed and lips red from kisses. Growling slightly, Andrea dove onto the couch to join the beautiful woman, capturing her lips once more. This time, Andrea was fully in charge, quickly sliding down the zip at the back of Miranda's dress and pulling it off, tossing the stunning garment away carelessly. With all her previous spouses, Miranda had made it clear that there were certain rules to love making, some that could not be overlooked.

However, now Miranda couldn't care less as Andrea tore – literally tore – off Miranda's bra. Breaking away from Miranda's lips, Andrea moved to lick a spiral pattern around Miranda's left breast, ending up at a perfect, dusky nipple. Sucking the bud into her mouth, Andrea hummed in approval as Miranda arched up towards her touch, moaning with desire. Moving one of her hands from Miranda's hip, Andrea took the other nipple between her thumb and forefinger, tweaking it slightly. Having made love to Miranda many times before, Andrea knew exactly what to do next to get Miranda halfway to her climax. Without warning, Andrea bit down on the left nipple while pinching the right one. Hearing a strangled cry retched from her wife, Andrea decide it was time to speed things along. Releasing Miranda's nipple from her mouth, Andrea tugged against the hands that tightly gripped her hair, holding her in place.

Once they loosened she made her way down the sensuous body that writhed under her, letting her nose skim across Miranda's ribs, stomach, hips. Finally reaching her destination, Andrea slid in between Miranda's legs, letting her cheek rest against her lover thigh for a moment. When she knew Miranda was about to beg, Andrea broke, leaning in a kissing the flesh of Miranda's sex. Hearing a long, drawn out moan, Andrea dove in, licking the length of Miranda's folds before settling over her clit. Sucking on the small, stiff bud, Andrea slipped two fingers into Miranda, pumping lightly. "Andrea" Miranda murmured lightly, arching uncontrollably.

Encouraged. Andrea slipped another finger into her lover, pumping harder now. When she curled her fingers slightly, hitting the perfect spot inside Miranda, another "Andrea" was drawn from the other womans lips, this on a bit harsher, louder. Feeling Miranda lighten around her fingers, Andrea drove her into climax by sucking strongly on Miranda's clit, trying desperately to hold the bucking womans hips still to draw out the orgasm. Keening slightly, a shouted "Andrea!" got the younger womans attention, and with that her eyes flew open.

_Seems like a random spot to stop, but all will soon become clear. :D_


	4. Chapter 4

"Bloody hell, Andy, you're lucky Miranda didn't catch you sleeping at work or she would have your head." Andy blinked a few times, disorientated, before murmuring "Emily?" The irate redhead rolled her eyes while frantically shuffling through the papers at her desk. "Who else were you expecting, the Queen?" Rubbing her face with her hands, Andy blinked a few more times before her heart plummeted at the realization that everything – her relationship with Miranda, their wedding and ensuing love-making – had all been a dream.

However, Andy had no more time to dwell on the implications of the dream, as her phone rand suddenly. In auto mode, Andy picked up the phone with a "Miranda Priestly's office, how may I help you?"The voice at the other end was gruff but familiar. "I am just about to pick her up now. We'll be there in 15 minutes." "Thanks Roy," Andy replied sincerely, before hanging up and hitting speed dial number 5. "Hey Marlene, its Andy. I need the usual... I will be there in 5 minutes." Without further ado, Andy hung up the phone – a bad habit that all of Miranda's assistants tended to pick up – slid her leather bomber jacket on over a brightly printed A-line dress and headed for the elevator.

No less than 13 minutes later Andy was making her way back towards the Elias-Clark elevators, a selection of magazines in one hand and a tray containing Miranda's coffee, Emily's tea and a Espresso for Andy, in the other, leaving her with a minute or two to get upstairs and prep Miranda's desk. Dashing into the elevator, Andy shifted from one 6-inch-heel clad foot to the other, urging the lift to move faster. With a 'ding!' the elevator doors opened to RUNWAY as Andy, a model and one of the editors swept into the offices. With practiced motions, Andy delivered her and Emily's drinks to their respective desks before slipping into Miranda's office.

Although Miranda had softened slightly since the Paris disaster, when Andy had almost walked away, it was still crucial that Andy set up the editors desk perfectly and left before Miranda arrived, for the fashion icon still froze her assistants in an icy glare if they were caught alone in her office. Carefully, Andy set the Starbucks cup next to the computer, twisting it so that the logo faced Miranda's seat. The collection of magazines were then splayed methodically across the table, in a fixed order; everyone had heard the story of the assistant fired for putting Vanity Fair before Vogue. Finally, Andy misted a single pump of perfume towards Miranda's chair, knowing Miranda preferred to be surrounded by her favorite scent.

Just as the elevator 'ding!'ed once more, Andy swept out of the office, waiting in front of her desk for Miranda's coat and bag. Seconds later, Miranda arrived, depositing her coat and bag into Andy's waiting hands. "Emily, move my meeting with that new designer forward, to 9 o'clock, and get Nigel for me. Andrea, coffe-" the word died on her lips at the sight of her desk, already complete with magazines and Starbucks. "Thats all."

Attempting to hide her small smile, Andy hung up the coat and bag in the closet and set about updating the schedule. Emily called Nigel, who promptly arrived at Andy's desk. Dropping a note on Andy's keyboard, he proceeded into Miranda's office, forgoing mundane greetings in favor of "I know, the shoot was terrible, so I called..." Unfolding the paper, Andy read "_Six, drinks, tonight, after you drop of the book?" _ Andy grinned at the words – Nigel knew her so well, they had become quite close during their time in Paris, and met irregularly for drinks. At the end of a long day, they both tended to need the alcohol buzz, and Nigel was one of the few people who didn't hold Andy's long working hours against her.

When Nigel emerged a few minutes later Andy forwent words in favor of a simple nod, knowing Miranda would be mad if she heard them discussing non-work related matters. Glancing at the time, Andy called Roy to arrive downstairs, only moments before Miranda glided out of her office, hand out-stretched for her personal belongings. Andy carefully helped the editor into her elegant coat and handed over her bag before grabbing her own belongings and following a step behind Miranda.

The two women rode down in the elevator together – a custom that had been constant since Paris, much to Emily's envy – and exited at the ground floor. Crossing the foyer, a young woman shredded jeans and a less-than-designer shirt intercepted their path. She was still a few meters, maybe five, away from the editor and her assistant, but her stance was somewhat confrontational. Andy bit back a sigh – it was not uncommon for Miranda to be accosted outside of Ellis-Clark, but between security and Miranda's 'Dragon' persona, there was never really a problem. Miranda paused at the sight of her, waiting for the usual "you ruined my business" or "how could you chose their design over mine" accusations.

This one was different thought. The woman was dressed to poorly to be a designed, and looked as if she'd had several sleepless nights. "Do you remember me, Miranda?" she hissed, "or am I just another _Emily_? You probably have know idea who I am, and yet you ruined my life. You blacklisted me – I haven't been able to get a job on the east coast for months."

"I do remember you, actually." Miranda replied coolly. "You stole clothes from the closet, so I made sure you would never work with an item of clothing ever again. Is that all you wanted?" she asked with a sneer.

"I Wasn't Stealing!" the visibly flustered ex-Emily shouted. "You ruined my life, and now I will ruin yours." The woman reached to the small of her back and, for a split second, time slowed down. Andy watched as the woman pulled something shiny and metal from the waistband of her jeans. Without even thinking, Andy snagged Miranda's arm, spinning them to put her younger body between the editor and her attacker. Dimly, Andy heard a trio of deafening cracks split the air, and everything was numb. Unable to control herself, Andy sunk to the ground, suddenly surrounded by a flurry of movement. Men in security uniforms where rushing past her, towards the ex-assistant, thought one stopped to look at Andy. "I think she's in shock" he shouted, though it sounded as if he was talking underwater.

Looking down, Andy saw red stains blossoming on her clothes – one on her shoulder, one near her stomach and one in her thigh. Somehow, seeing the blood, everything became real. Gritting her teeth in pain, Andy slumped down fully so that her was lying on the floor. Absently aware of people around her shouting for ambulances and police, bandages and towels, Andy realized someone had slid her head onto there lap, cradling it gently. "Miranda?" she mumbled best she could. "Yes, Andrea," the older woman choked, holding back a sob, "I am here." "She shot me." Andy muttered. "What the hell? You cant just go around shooting people."

Miranda's tears splashed onto the younger woman's face at the sound of her assistants non-nonsensical rambling, unable to chastise her for once. "Its alright Andrea, she's going to go away for a long time, just stay with me." The older woman was reduced to begging. "Please, don't go, don't close your eyes. Just stay with me, it will be ok, just don't to to sleep. Please Andrea, don't leave me." By now, Andy's body felt as if it was on fire, and the pain was becoming over-whelming. Knowing that, for once, she wouldn't be able to do as Miranda asked. "Sorry Miranda..." she managed to whisper before descending to a place without pain and agony, a place of pure blackness, where even Miranda's voice failed to reach her.

_A.N. Ok, this has been a while since my last post. I'm more of a reader than a writer, so I am crap at remembering to write. Starting my IGCSE's soon, which means I will be on study leave, so I will try to post again within a few weeks at the most. Sorry bout that..._


	5. Chapter 5

Miranda sat on a worn blue sofa in the Hospital waiting room with her silver-haired head in her hands. Andrea had been whisked away by doctors, surgeons and nurses, and between shouts of "She's going into V fib", "Flat-lined, "charging" and "Clear!", Miranda was aware of only one thing – Andrea might die. Almost loosing Andrea in Paris had been bad enough, if the girl – woman – died now, Miranda didn't know what she would do. Sighing, Miranda stood and started to pace – she couldn't bare to sit still and just wait – and was pacing still when Nigel and a tall, rounded, brunette man rushed into the ER. "Miranda," Nigel greeted her, "how is she?" When Miranda didn't respond, Nigel tried again. "Miranda? Miranda? Mira?"

This finally got her attention. "Nige?" she whispered, sounding all the world like a lost child. "Hey Mira," Nigel smiled at her, using the affectionate nickname he had created decades ago for her. "How is Andrea? How are you, your covered in blood!" Nigel's voice rose until the last word was practically shouted. Miranda shook her head. "The bloods not mine. I'm fine, Andrea on the other hand, I don't know. Her heart stopped, Nige, it just... stopped. Silly girl, it should have been me, not her. Definitely not her."

After a moment of silence, Miranda seemed to shake herself out of her stupor slightly, enough to notice the second man. "Who's this?" she asked tiredly, not at all her 'Dragon lady' self. The man outstretched his hand and informed her "I'm Doug. Andy and I have been friends since... forever, and I am one of her Medical Power's of attorney, Nigel is her second." Miranda shook his hand before a thought struck her. "Someone has to call her parents. They cant find out their daughter got shot, not from the TV. Doug, do you know their phone number?" Doug's face fell, as did Nigel's. "Andy will probably kill me for telling you, but given the circumstances, you should know. Her parents disowned her about five months ago, right after she got back from Paris." Miranda's brow furrowed; she couldn't think of anything her daughters could do that would make her disown them. "Why?" she inquired to Doug. "The rest of her family is very devoutly religious; Andy told them that she was gay. They said that she would 'Burn in hell' and then disowned her. Their loss, really." Miranda mulled this over. "I see."

Just then one of the many doctors that had taken Andrea appeared, looking tired but happy. "Ms. Priestly?" he more stated than asked. "We have good news. Andrea is out of the danger zone – her heart is beating regularly again, and we shouldn't have to worry so much. As far as we can tell so far, the damage isn't too extensive. The upper most bullet, to her shoulder, has broken her scapula, and possibly damaged her clavicle. With physical therapy she should be ok. The shot to her stomach, somehow, missed everything important. They have Andrea in surgery now, fixing a slight hole in her intestines, but there wont be to much lasting damage. The bullet in her thigh did the most damage. It was very, very close to hitting her femoral artery. There patching it up now. All in all, its going to take a few months of therapy, by Ms. Sachs should be perfectly fine. And you, Ms. Priestly, are incredibly lucky. Due to the close range, all three bullets went through and through Andrea, yet somehow managed to miss you. Very lucky, indeed."

Miranda blinked a few times, shocked. "She's not going to die?" the fashionista whispered. The doctor smiled slightly at the unexpected question, and clarified. "Andrea is going to be fine. She's a very stubborn woman." Absently, Doug snorted at the doctors understatement. His words seemed to break through the ice surrounding Miranda, melting it away. "She's going to be ok," Miranda mumbled to herself. "Mira?" Nigel asked hesitantly. "She going to be ok." the older woman repeated once more, louder this time, before catching her long-time friend in an embrace.

Nigel rubbed her back soothingly for a moment or two before she composed herself and turned to the doctor and said two words rarely heard from her lips. "Thank-you" she murmured sincerely. "Will you keep us notified to her condition?" The doctor smiled. "Of course. She should be in surgery for about two more hours, I will come with more information then, or if anything changes." Before leaving the doctor hesitated for a moment, turning back to Miranda. "Ms. Priestly, if your going to stay, I can provide you with a pair of scrubs to change into. The not as... glamorous as what I am sure you are used to, but they are clean."

It was only then that Miranda remembered her clothes were covered in Andrea's blood. Chewing her lip, she debated her options, before making up her mind. "If you have a spare set, I would be most grateful." The doctor nodded and returned a few seconds later with a pair of plum coloured scrubs, and after leading Miranda to a bathroom where she could change, returned through the doors marked "Medical Personnel Only".

A few minutes later, Miranda reappeared in black dafodille Louboutin's, black Chanel trousers and a shapeless plum shirt. Doug managed to bite his lip and stifle a laugh, but Nigel accidentally snorted. Miranda simply rolled her eyes, too tired to pull out the Dragon persona, "Yes, yes, laugh it up. Its not like there are any alternatives. I have no spare clothes with me, and I can't go home covered in blood – the twins would have a heart attack." Once Nigel looked suitably reprimanded, though his eyes told a different story, Miranda continued. "I think I'm going to go home for a bit. The girls were close to Andrea – after the 'Harry Potter incident' I believe they became friends, although neither party seems to know that I know. They are sure to be worried, and I need to see them. You will call me if anything happens or when Andrea gets out of surgery, right?"

Nigel nodded in agreement and offered to call Roy for his long-time friend. When she declined in favour of a Taxi, both Nigel and Doug were shocked, but bid her good-bye, and watched as Miranda Priestly made scrub shirts the newest fashion trend.

~~~~~{*}~~~~~

Miranda paid the Taxi driver and made her way inside the three-story town house, grateful that there were not yet flocks of reporters and photographers. Slipping out of her shoes and padding barefoot up the first flight of stairs, Miranda noticed that the twins were not yet home, and detoured on her way to her bedroom past the kitchen. Grabbing a chilled bottle of Perrier water, Miranda hit the button on her answering machine. There was one message, and with the limited amount of people who knew her home number, Miranda suspected it was from Dalton school.

Indeed, her suspicions were correct. "Ms. Priestly, this is the headmistress of Dalton, Allison Taylor. We just heard the news – according to TV you are uninjured. We told the girls that there was a shooting, but that you were not hurt. As you can imagine, they want to see you. They are more than welcome to leave early today, of course, if you wish. Call us, please."

Sighing, Miranda picked up the phone and dialled the school to ask – demand – that Cassidy and Caroline come home for the rest of the day and the following one. She then called Roy to pick them up, before docking the phone and practically pulling herself out of the chair. Groaning, she made her way to her bedroom. The girls would arrive in about 45 minutes, and Miranda planned to spend most of that time in the shower. Striping out of slightly blood stained clothes, Miranda slipped into the shower. It was luxurious, four mounted shower heads, two in front of her and two behind, blasted out hot water. Scrubbing her skin of dried blood, Miranda watched red, soapy froth disappear down the drain. Once the water was clear instead of red, Miranda finally let her knees give way and sank to the floor of the shower. Wrapping her arms tightly around her pale knees, Miranda let loose the tears that had been held back all day. She neither sobbed nor wept – her tears were silent, streaking down porcelain cheeks.

Eventually the tears ebbed and Miranda had to get out of the haven of her shower. Drying off, she dresses in soft, well-worn jeans that had never been seen the outside of her house, and a moss green cashmere sweater. Glancing in the mirror, Miranda noted her damp hair and red-rimmed eyes, but the girls would be arriving too soon for her to fix anything, and she didn't want to hide from her daughters. Making her way to the kitchen, Miranda made a cup of tea for herself and had just finished making two hot chocolates when The Twins ran in.

"Mum," they cried in unison, rushing to hug her despite the fact they often insisted that they were 'too old for hugs.' "Are you ok? Is Andy?" Sighing, Miranda steered them to the kitchen table and place a mug of hot chocolate in front of each girl, sipping her tea before answering. "I am perfectly fine, not a single scratch on me." She paused, trying to work out the best way to tell them about Andrea when Caroline beat her to it. "Andy's not ok, is she?" the more perceptive twin asked. "You've been crying."

Miranda nodded. "Andrea moved in between the shooter and I. She is alive, but was shot three times. Currently, she is still in surgery, although the doctor assured me that she will be alright and will call as soon as she gets out." While Caroline was more perceptive, Cassidy was the more emotional of the pair, and had welled up with tears at the description of the attack. "She's not alone, is she?" Cassidy asked quietly. Miranda reassured her that Andrea had people waiting with her, before suggesting that they relocate to the TV room and watch a movie for a while. For once, the twins decided not to run ahead and choose a DVD, instead latching on to one of Miranda hands each and refusing to let go. Once Miranda had settled on the couch and assured her daughters that she wasn't going to disappear, they released her hands, ran to choose a DVD and started playing it.

Miranda watched the movie blankly – modern movies rarely held her interest, and really, who cares about some sparkly vampire guy and a emotionless brunette living in a town named after silverware – but enjoyed the feeling of her girls curled up next to her. As the movie was coming to it close, with all the people dancing badly at prom, dressed in god-knows-what, Miranda's phone rang. One glance at the screen told her it was Nigel, so she answered with "Is everything alright?"

Nigel must have been expecting this as he didn't even miss a beat. "Good news, Andy's out of surgery and in the recovery ward. The doctors say the anaesthesia should ware off in less than an hour, but they don't know how aware Andy will be once she wakes up. I asked if your girls would be allowed to visit, and the verdict was not this afternoon, but maybe tomorrow or the following day depending on how Andy feels." Nigel had, as he often did, answered all her questions before she could ask them, so Miranda was silent for a moment before replying "Thank you, Nigel. I will be there shortly. Do you know which room?"

Once Nigel had told her how to get there, Miranda hung up and relayed what he had told her to the girls. They both complained about the delay on when they could visit, but resolved this by quickly making a get-well-soon card and writing a letter to Andy wishing her well while Miranda changed out of her jeans into comfortable black slacks, slid on a pair of low-heeled boots and applied a small amount of make-up to hide the red rims of her eyes. After making a quick phone call, Miranda returned to the girls. "Alright, Emily is going to come watch you guys for me. I know you don't really like her -" here the girls smiled in remembrance of all the pranks they had pulled over the years "-but remember, Andrea is a good friend of hers, no matter how much they might fight. Her friend is in hospital, so try to behave for Emily. Just watch a movie, do your homework, and Emily will order pizza when you get hungry, ok?" Both girls nodded, knowing today would not be the day to annoy their mother or her assistant, before handing over their gifts for Andrea and hugging their mother goodbye.

Just as Miranda walked out the door, Emily arrived. Miranda informed her of the twins promise to behave, and in return Emily asked Miranda to give Andrea her love. Acquiescing, Miranda hailed a cab as Emily watched in shock, but the older woman was to intent on her destination to care about how she got there.

_A.N. There we go, one more chapter. Next will be Miranda and Andy in the hospital, and maybe a bit of Andy-tells-Miranda-how-she-feels-while-on-drugs goodness. _


	6. Chapter 6

_A.n. Sorry about the MASSIVE break. I went on summer holidays and have had absolutely no Internet since mid June. Thank-you to anyone still reading._

Andreas hospital room was a clinical white colour, marred only by Andreas dark hair and the presence of Doug and Nigel at her bedside. When they saw Miranda in the doorway, surveying the room, the two men moved to talk to her in the hall. "How is she?" Miranda asked, already feeling as if a weight had been lifted off her shoulders at the sight of Andrea, alive and well. "She's ok" Doug informed her, "should be waking up soon." Miranda nodded and the trio moved to sit at Andreas bedside. For a brief moment Miranda hesitated before taking Andreas hand in hers, pointedly not looking at the two men's faces as she did so. Miranda did, however, notice the pairs joined hands and their affectionate manner towards each other, and surmised that they were dating.

After about ten minutes of peaceful waiting, Andrea began to stir. Her left hand started twitching in Mirandas,though her right arm, bandaged from her chest to halfway down her upper arm, remained still. A nurse with blond hair and green scrubs walked in and looked at the chart at the end of the bed, just before Andrea started making small whimpers punctured with the occasional whisper of "no." "Talk to her," the nurse advised, "she can probably hear you and it would be comforting to know she's not alone." Miranda nodded at him and taking his advice, brushed the beautiful young woman's hair away from her pale face, marvelling at its softness, and chatting to the girl in a low voice about anything that came to mind. "Andrea, you had better wake up soon. I refuse to leave until you do so, but considering I left the girls with Emily..." Here she trailed off, trying to think of something else to say without revealing how worried she was to the nurse, who was bustling around checking various tubes and machine, or Doug and Nigel. Andrea beat her to it. "Don't go Mira, Em will be fine."

"Andrea" "Andy" and "Six" was chorused as the trio noticed her reply. The patients eyes fluttered open, looking at each of them for a moment before settling on Miranda. "If I knew that all I had to do to get you to play nurse was get shot," Andrea informed her boss, "I would have done so a long time ago." Nigel chuckled slightly, drawing his friends attention onto him. "And you!" she exclaimed. "You promised to get me drunk! Granted, it was on the condition of 'after I dropped off the book with Mira' but still. I think, after everything that's happened today, I deserve a few shots of Absolut." Here the nurse, who had been keeping quiet in the back of the room to observe the patients condition, interjected with "No alcohol until you stop taking pain meds." Andrea gave a small growl of displeasure, unable to conceal her emotions in such a drugged state, that sent a wave of warmth running through Miranda's body.

_Dear lord,_ she mentally berated herself, _ this is hardly the time or place to be feeling that way, especially not about your much younger, beautiful, employee. _The older woman snapped out of her head space at the sound of Andrea's yawn, followed by "I'm so tired." "Go to sleep the, honey." Doug told her, whisking a hand through her hair. "We will see you in the morning, and Em may be able to pop by tomorrow. Just go to sleep." Andrea smiled a sleepy smile and took Dougs hand in the left one, squeezing it slightly. "Night Doug." She the repeated the gesture with her work-mate and friend. "Night Nige." Finally she gathered Mirandas slight hand in her long-fingered one and brought it up to her lips, drowsily planting a kiss on the smooth flesh. "Night Mira." she whispered. "Love you." she murmured before he head slipped to the side and her eyes shut, a slight snore sounding a few seconds later. For a minute or two the trio sat in shell-shocked silence, trying to absorb the unexpected confession, until the nurse, who had disappeared once Andrea had started to say good night, returned. "I'm sorry, but visiting hours in the intensive recovery ward are over. She wont wake up until tomorrow morning anyway." he informed them, nodding his head towards Andrea. Doug placed a quick kiss on his friends cheek. "Get well, honey." Nigel too kissed her cheek, whispering, "See you soon Six." Miranda paused for a moment to curb the instinct to kiss her lips, instead kissing her smooth, pale cheek so close the the corners of their mouths touched. "Love you too." she whispered, a light a moths wings, so that even the two men standing beside her did not hear.

She then straightened up, looked the two men in the eyes and said, with a shred of her dragon persona, "I understand you promised to get Andrea drunk, no?" Nigel inclined his head, used to being in trouble, while Doug stood still and let him do the talking. Miranda stood tall and stern for a few more moments before the façade cracked and she smiled. "Good. After everything that's happened today, you can get me drunk instead." Doug smiled at her teasing tone and made a show of looking her up and down as they walked out of Andreas room and into the hall. "That wont take long, your only small." Miranda smirked while Nigel shook his head in pity for his boyfriend, informing him that "She'll drink you under the table." Doug snorted confidently, "Yeah right, your on." Miranda's smirk grew as she shook his hand, sealing the bet.

~~~~~{*}~~~~~

After the fourth beer and first vodka shot, Miranda was still her usual calm, collected self, although smiling a bit more than usual. Between the news that Andrea would be ok, the joy of being out with people she liked – as opposed to a gala where she could never remember names and all the people where ass-kissers – and copious amounts of alcohol, Miranda felt better than she had in a long time. Doug, on the other hand, was slouched in his seat, light-headed and woozy, and convinced that somehow, Miranda was cheating at their bet. When he said as much, Miranda tossed back her head and laughed, a clear sign that she was, somewhat, drunk.

"I'm Polish, born and raised in England. Last time I got passed-out drunk was when I was 36. Nigel and I had just met and, like you, he bet he could drink more than me, at the age of 22." Nigel grinned at the memory, and Doug asked "So, what happened?" "After a dozen shots of Vodka apiece, he was barely even upright, while I was managing perfectly well in 6 inch heels. Lightweight" she shot at her long-time friend. In return, Nigel, who was only just on his second beer, told Doug, "Yeah, but I wasn't the only one who ended up with a tattoo." Dougs mouth dropped open as he turned to look at Miranda, who was now slightly red. "You, the great queen of fashion, has a tattoo and no one knows about it? Can I see?" Miranda laughed at his eagerness. "Now?" she asked.

When Doug nodded rapidly and then clutched his swimming head, Miranda glanced around the bar. It was one of her and Nigels favourite hang-outs from back when Miranda was a junior editor, and Nigel no more than an assistant. The small room was dimly lit, the only light coming from the near empty bar at the far side of the room. Miranda, Nigel and Doug were seated at a small booth in the corner, hidden from prying eyes. Deciding that no one else would be able to see, Miranda swung up her left foot so that it rested on her right thigh before tugging of her boot and sock.

There, on the sole of her left foot, just below her big toe, was a tiny, cartoon... "Goldfish?!" Doug exclaimed questioningly while Nigel laughed at his reaction. "Why?" Miranda smiled at the question. "The next morning I woke up in Nigels flat, with a massive hangover and a sore foot. I found the card for the tattoo parlour in my purse. I went and asked the tattooist what had happened the previous night, if I had told him why a got the tattoo. He said that the reason why so deep that he had written it down. Apparently I said 'Everyone pities them for only remembering their last three seconds, but in fact, to be so forcibly tied to the present – it's a gift. They are free. No moping over missteps, slip-ups, faux pas or disturbing childhoods. No inner demons. Their closets are light filled and skeleton free. And what could be more exhilarating that seeing the for the very first time, in all of its beauty, almost thirty thousand times a day?'" ¹

There was a moment of silence as she let this sink in. "Of course, I was pretty drunk, so he could have just made that up, for all I know." With that, Miranda tossed back another vodka shot and looked at her companions. Doug was out cold, face down on the table, and Nigel was slumped back in his seat, the remains of his second beer dangerously close to spilling. "Lightweights" she muttered fondly, slipping her shoe and sock back on and going to hail a cab. Between herself and Michael, the bar tender, they manage to get the pair one-by-one into the taxi before Miranda paid the tab and gave the cabbie direction to the town house.

_A/N. 1. I wish I could say the quote about the goldfish came from me, but sadly, it didn't. Whomever can guess the title and author of the book its in can suggest a side plot, chapter prompt, or choose something to have mentioned in the story. _


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